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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23135620">Only miss the sun when it starts to snow</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Athena/pseuds/Lady_Athena'>Lady_Athena</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bill goes to Mike for comfort, Bill's a sad bean, But Momma Denbrough is made of sunshine, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Gay Bill Denbrough, Gay Mike Hanlon, Georgie has a funeral tomorrow, Getting Together, Good parent Mrs. Denbrough, Lots of Crying, M/M, Rated T for swearing, but fluff, mentions of georgie's death, the others are very briefly mentioned</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:13:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23135620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Athena/pseuds/Lady_Athena</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Nuh-Nuh-Nothing is going to make tuh-tuh-tomorrow easy, Mom. Yuh-Yuh-You and I both know th-th-that.” He exclaims, tears flooding down his face as he looked to her. </p><p>“Bill, what happened… It wasn’t your fault.” She whispered getting off cut at him abruptly from his chair, causing it to thump against the carpet. </p><p>“It was! It wuh-wuh-was my fault! I duh-duh-didn’t go with him! I shuh-shuh-should have been with him!” He argues as his mother’s eyes widened. </p><p>“Baby… No, no.” She finally stepped into the room when Bill slumped against his desk while sobbing. Her arms enveloped him in a warm embrace as his body trembled against her. “Oh Bill, why didn’t you tell me that’s how you were feeling?” Her fingers combed through his hair gently as Bill buried his face deeper against her chest.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bill Denbrough &amp; Mrs Denbrough, Bill Denbrough/Mike Hanlon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Only miss the sun when it starts to snow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Denbrough house was very quiet tonight. They had sat together and eaten dinner together for the first time in a long while, but the air was tense and hard to bear. It had been about a week since the defeat of Pennywise and almost a month since Georgie disappeared. It was like the life had been sucked out of every single one of them. </p><p>Bill was trying to focus on his homework, but his mind kept going back to Georgie’s voice, echoing heavily in his head. He wanted nothing more than for everything to just be quiet for a little while so he could just hear himself think. </p><p>“Bill?” His mother’s soft voice called as the brunette boy glanced back to see her head peeking through the door. “You have your suit pressed? You know tomorrow is the funeral.” She explains as Bill nods.</p><p>“In-In-In the closet, Mom.” He assured softly as she offers a watery smile. </p><p>“You need anything?” She questioned when he shook his head.</p><p>“Nuh-Nuh-No, I’m good. Puh-Puh-Promise.” He smiles back, but it didn’t reach his eyes. </p><p>“Did you ask any of your friends to come?” She whispered when Bill looked down at his math book with his trembling chin.</p><p>“No, I-I-I didn’t actually. Th-Th-They have enough going on.” He assures softly, earning a frown from her. </p><p>“Sweetheart, they’re your friends. If they care… They’d drop everything to be there.” She comments when Bill gripped his fist.</p><p>“Muh-Muh-Mom, please. Juh-Juh-Just stop. I didn’t in-in-invite them.” He huffed as she winced before nodding gently. </p><p>“Okay, I’m sorry. I just… I just thought tomorrow would be easier if you had friends.” She explains when Bill ruffled his own hair messily. </p><p>“Nuh-Nuh-Nothing is going to make tuh-tuh-tomorrow easy, Mom. Yuh-Yuh-You and I both know th-th-that.” He exclaims, tears flooding down his face as he looked to her. </p><p>“Bill, what happened… It wasn’t your fault.” She whispered getting off cut at him abruptly from his chair, causing it to thump against the carpet. </p><p>“It was! It wuh-wuh-was my fault! I duh-duh-didn’t go with him! I shuh-shuh-should have been with him!” He argues as his mother’s eyes widened. </p><p>“Baby… No, no.” She finally stepped into the room when Bill slumped against his desk while sobbing. Her arms enveloped him in a warm embrace as his body trembled against her. “Oh Bill, why didn’t you tell me that’s how you were feeling?” Her fingers combed through his hair gently as Bill buried his face deeper against her chest. </p><p>“I’m suh-suh-sorry…” He whispered as she sat down onto the bed and pulled him into her lap as she used to when he was a lot younger. </p><p>“Don’t apologize, Bill. What happened wasn’t your fault. You had no way of knowing that this would have happened… I just wish we would have found his body so I could bury my baby and not an empty casket.” She whispered as Bill’s fingers tightened against the fabric of her nightgown.</p><p>“Muh-Muh-Me too.” He whispered with a blank expression. <em>I wish I would have found him alive</em> was left unsaid. </p><p>“Come on, how about I get the ice cream out and you and I go downstairs to watch some movies?” She offers, brushing the hair from his slightly swollen face. </p><p>“Yuh-Yuh-Yeah, I’d like that.” He assures softly with a gentle smile spreading across his drying lips. </p><p>“Okay.” She smiles before standing up with him still nestled in her arms. He was going to protest since he was practically her height, but his mother was bound and determined to carry her baby down the steps. </p><p>The look on her face is why made his mouth shut. It was a look of… <em>let me baby you for just a moment longer. I lost my youngest and you are all I have so let me do this, please. </em></p><p>Bill slowly wrapped his arms around her neck and laid his head against her chest while she walked down the steps. His eyes already felt heavy from the lack of sleep these past few weeks. Yet, being in her arms like this made everything just disappear and he didn’t have to face his brother’s death tomorrow and he didn’t have to listen to everyone’s I’m sorry. </p><p>What the fuck was I’m sorry going to do? It meant nothing to him. It didn’t bring back Georgie. It didn’t help kill the damn clown that had slaughtered him and it certainly didn’t ease the ache in the Denbroughs’ hearts. They could take their ‘I’m sorry’s’ and shove it. </p><p>Bill’s eyes snapped open when he felt his mom shift and lay him down on the couch. She offered him a gentle smile, murmuring about the ice cream before walking off to the kitchen. Bill slowly looked around the room in silence feeling this heavy weight slowly being lifted off his shoulders. </p><p>He felt the couch dip above his head as he looked to see his mother hunkering down before gesturing to the giant bowl of ice cream they would share. Bill merely shifted before laying his head on her lap while she turned on the tv before letting her fingers comb through his hair again. Bill’s eyes struggled to stay open before he finally blacked out long before she had found a movie to watch. </p><p>It was a few hours later when Bill’s eyes fluttered open, his ears were ringing loudly as he tried to adjust to the glow from the TV. The other was dark and the faint hum from the TV was the only sound that echoed the room aside from the gentle breath of his mother who had him in her arms. </p><p>Somehow she moved him to where his face was on her stomach so that she could lay on the couch with him. He took in the familiar scent of laundry detergent that seemed to calm his frantic heart rate with the soothing scent. He wanted to stay in this moment forever if he could, but he felt sweaty, hot and his arm was bent awkwardly between his mother’s side and the couch. </p><p>He slowly peeled himself off the silk fabric of her nightgown, wiping at the drying drool on his face as he stood up. He snagged the remote of the coffee table and shut off the TV before grabbing the afghani off the back of the couch. He draped it over her sleeping form as he started up the steps to go back to his room so he could sleep some more. </p><p>Then he noticed a light shining from Georgie’s room as Bill’s heart dropped down into his stomach. He felt something inside of him snap as he ripped open the door, ready to kill that fucking clown again if he was there. Yet, the moment he was inside, he realized that it was the small nightlight that aluminated the room in stars. </p><p>Suddenly Bill felt his chest tighten so hard that he couldn’t breathe. He needed to get the hell out of this house before it suffocated him slowly. He immediately backed out of the room and rushed into his room before slipping on his shoes and snagging a jacket. He felt his stomach turn violently, feeling the stars slowly creeping out of the room towards him as he flinched. </p><p>He thrusted open his window before tossing out the rope ladder he made for the other losers’ whenever they needed him. He climbed down from his window and rushed for his bike, glancing back to the darkened house with a look of utter despair. </p><p>Honestly, Bill had no idea where the hell he was pedaling until he reached the road that led to Mike’s farm. His thundering heart was calling for him to see the homeschooled boy because right now… he just needed to hear his voice. The moon’s light guided him down the dirt path before he finally made it to Mike’s home. </p><p>
  <em>Why? Why did he need to see him? Why can’t you just let it go? Mike’s sleeping. </em>
</p><p>Bill dropped his bike down in the grass before walking up to the window he knew was Mike’s. He glanced around before rushing back to the road, snagging up some small rocks before returning to the window. He gripped the rocks in his hands for a moment longer before finally chucking the first pebble that hit the side of the house. </p><p>“Fuck.” He growled and threw it to the left a little more before making a gentle tink sound to the glass. “Cuh-Cuh-Come on.” He pleaded softly to Mike as he lobbed a few more rocks, making contact with the glass. </p><p>Suddenly the curtains opened as Mike lifted up the window, looking down at his friend in shock. Bill had never felt such relief course through him at the sight of the other boy than he did right now. </p><p>“Bill? What in the world are you doing here?” He asked, frowning. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” He questioned as Bill glanced sheepishly to the moon.</p><p>“Th-Th-Three?” He offered softly, earning a snort from Mike.</p><p>“Close enough. What’s wrong?” Mike asked, crossing his arms when he noticed the distant look in Bill’s eyes.</p><p>“Guh-Guh-Georgie’s funeral is tomorrow and I… I don’t think I can face it. I ruh-ruh-really don’t wanna buh-buh-be alone.” He explains as Mike’s eyes softened. </p><p>“Oh, jeez dude, here. Let me get the door unlocked.” Mike comments, nudging his head back in his room as Bill nods. </p><p>Bill walked over to the porch, standing there as he shivered slightly now that the cold air was settling over him. He didn’t even think about pants when he went downstairs with his mother, because he thought he was just gonna do homework and go to bed. Now here he was, standing in thirty-degree weather in boxers, a t-shirt and a light jacket that did a lick of shit to block out the gentle breeze.</p><p>“Come on in.” Mike comments, opening the door gently before holding a finger up to his lips. “Be quiet. My Grandpa is still sleeping.” He gestured to the recliner where the old man snored loudly away. </p><p>Bill followed Mike up to his room as he rubbed his hands up and down his biceps in order to get some friction to heat up his body. He glanced sheepishly to Mike who held a look of worry before he opened his drawers and pulled out some sleeper pants. </p><p>“I-I-I shouldn’t.” He comments, earning a quirking brow in response.</p><p>“Bill, you’re lips are turning blue. Put the damn pants on.” Mike huffs as Bill felt his face heat up before he took the plaid pants from Mike and slipped them all. Mike’s waist was a lot bigger than Bill’s since he worked on the farm for all his life so he had bigger bones. </p><p>“Thuh-Thuh-Thanks,” Bill whispered before sitting down on the edge of the bed when Mike joined him. </p><p>“So, what’s going on in that big brain of yours?” Mike asked quietly, glancing at Bill who stared at the flooring.</p><p>“I… I suh-suh-seen a light in Georgie’s room. Puh-Puh-Panicked because I thought It wuh-wuh-was back.” He explains as Mike’s eyes softened before he unconsciously reached out and squeezed Bill’s trembling hand. “It’s all muh-muh-my fault.” He whispered, feeling tears burning his eyes. His nose was burning and dripping as he wiped away both tears and snot with the end of his jacket.</p><p>“What? No! Bill, it’s not. Look at me.” Mike begged, locking eyes with Bill’s watery gaze. “It’s that dumb clown who did this. Georgie didn’t deserve to die like he did… And… And you deserve some closure. Tomorrow you know that despite it being an empty casket buried… that Georgie’s soul can be at peace.” He explains softly. </p><p>“Buh-Buh-But if I had gone wi-wi-with him that day… He could buh-buh-be alive.” Bill comments with an angered expression.</p><p>“Or you could both be dead. Your mother would have lost both her boys and never known what happened. Pennywise would have slaughtered a lot of more people… You saved so many, Bill. I know it hurts, but it’s okay. Georgie doesn’t blame you.” He promised before pulling Bill against him as Bill immediately buried his face into Mike’s neck. </p><p>“It shuh-shuh-should have been muh-muh-me,” Bill whispered when Mike jerked Bill back, cupping his face as Bill’s eyes widened.</p><p>“Don’t you dare ever say that again, do you hear me Denbrough!” Mike snapped angrily, unshed tears flooding his own waterline. “You and the others are my best friends!! I don’t know what I would have done had I not met any of you… So don’t… please don’t say that.” He begged softly. </p><p>Bill’s swallowed as much as he could with how tight his throat was as Mike pants heavily, warm breath fanning over Bill’s face. His eyes flickered down to Mike’s slightly parted lips before going back to the heated gaze of Mike’s eyes. He shivered gently before leaning forward as Mike froze when Bill’s lips brushed over his own. </p><p>“Fuh-Fuh-Fuck!” Bill gasped, pulling away with wide eyes as he started to stand up only for Mike’s hand to wrap around his elbow. “Muh-Muh-Mike, I--” He’s cut off when Mike’s lips smashed awkwardly against his own.</p><p>Bill’s entire body jolted before his eyes fluttered shut as he immediately deepened the kiss, tilting his head so he could. Bill moaned gently at the feeling of Mike’s arms slowly snaking their way around his body until the two teen boys were flushed against his other. </p><p>“That was… Holy shit.” Mike whispered, breathlessly as Bill nods dumbly. </p><p>“Yuh-Yuh-Yeah… I… Duh-Duh-Does this mean you feel the suh-suh-same?” Bill asked, glancing up at Mike who smiled. </p><p>“I think so… I mean… What I feel for you is definitely different than what I feel for the others.” Mike comments when Bill smiles softly before their forehead touch.</p><p>“Hey… Wuh-Wuh-Would you come with me tomorrow to the funeral? I th-th-think I’d like you there.” Bill whispered when Mike nods softly. </p><p>“Yeah, I can be there. Do you… Do you wanna spend the night?” He asked quietly as Bill nods immediately. “Um… We have to wake up really early. Your mom will freak out if she sees you gone.” Mike explains when Bill’s face flushes before he nods again. </p><p>“Fuh-Fuh-Fuck… Forgot.” Bill murmurs when Mike pulls the covers aside and lays down before offering out the open blanket to Bill who immediately crawled underneath. He buried his face against Mike’s chest, taking in the scent of hay and other things that can only be labeled, Mike. </p><p>“Good night, Bill,” Mike whispered as Bill’s arms snake around Mike’s body.</p><p>“Nuh-Nuh-Night, Mike.” Bill’s voice was muffled thanks to him trying to bury himself into Mike’s skin.</p><p>Not a few minutes later and Bill was already out like a light… And God was he glad that he decided to go and visit Mike. </p>
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